Should cows wear bras?
The relationship between cows and humans dates back to the dawn of civilization itself. Since the Neolithic age, humans have been domesticating cows their milk products. Yet the issue of providing bras for cows was never raised all these while, even though thousands of udders are being squeezed each day. While one might be struck by the absurdity clothing cows, the question of whether a cow should wear a bra, upon closer examination, reveals itself to be one that is in fact closely related to animal rights, gender equality and even environmentalism. The author believes that although bras on cows might bring certain benefits, the cons still vastly outnumber the pros. This essay will explain why this is so, with reference to the issues mentioned above.
When faced with this question, the first thing one might ask oneself is, “Why?” Indeed, why should we spend our resources to put a bra on a cow in the first place? While humans might wear bras either due to social conventions or for comfort, cows are not bounded by the same conventions. Thus, by comparing the functions of a bra and the anatomy of a cow, one can safely conclude that a bra on a cow can only serve one purpose: to provide comfort for the cow.
This inevitably brings us to the issue of animal rights. This is because if we were to assume that the rights of animals should be respected, then we must certainly try our best to provide comfort for our hardworking cows that push their udders to their limits each day just for our benefit. However, the effect of a bra on a cow’s state of mind is still largely unknown, as there has never been any research done in the area (at least to the best of my knowledge). In fact, a bra might even backfire by bringing distress to cows. Even some members the human race, who are used to wearing clothes, find bras uncomfortable. How then can we assume that cows, which remain naked throughout their entire lives, would enjoy covering their udders with a man-made garment? To put a bra on a cow to provide comfort is thus illogical, for whether it can really serve such a purpose is very much debatable.
Now that we have established that bras-on-cows serve no definite purpose, let us examine the implications if such an idea were to be carried out.
Firstly, providing bras for cows would have a very damaging effect on the environment. Cows, unlike humans, are forced to lactate all year round to provide milk for our consumption. This means that a bra designed for a cow has to be made of a material that is only have to be comfortable, but also strong, waterproof, and cheap. Such a material does exist. That material is plastic. Considering the number of cows all over the world, the increase in demand for plastic resulting from bra production would almost certainly be enormous. This will no doubt result in much unnecessary water and air pollution. Also the disposal of these bras might be just as big a problem as the disposal of plastic bags. Imagine plastic bras hanging from trees or choking turtles in the sea. These are all potential threats that improperly disposed bras might pose. Thus, we can see that the production of such bras made for cows can be potentially disastrous for our environment.
Another implication of the introduction of these bras is its effect on the image of bras in general. Introducing bras to cows would no doubt degrade the image of bras as a human garment. While some might argue that clothing animals is not a big issue, we must not forget that bras have always been a symbol of femininity. While most people may not find sweater-wearing dogs offensive, a bra-wearing cow is a different thing altogether. It can be interpreted as disrespectful and a direct challenge to feminism and females in general. We thus risk marginalising half the world’s population by making a bra that does not really serve a useful purpose.
Last but not least, cow-bras might also further increase the already soaring food prices, as the bras add to the cost that cow farmers have to pay. Milk and beef products all come from cows and millions all over the world depend of these products for their survival. Riots have already broken out in many parts of the world due to the rising costs of these products. Introducing bras for cows will only aggravate the situation and prolong the current food crisis.
In conclusion, while I do admit that bras might bring certain amount of comfort for cows, the cost that we must pay to introduce these bras is simply too great to warrant the benefits. In order to introduce a bra that might only benefit certain members of the world cow population, we are putting our environment and our very social fabric at peril. Thus, I conclude that cows should not wear bras.
